Traditional Marriage VS Gay Marriage

[Paul Coddington]

What is all the fuss about? Aren't traditional marriage and gay marriage the same thing? Well, no. The conservative Christian view is quite different; even from that of the modern secular person living in western society. For the former, marriage is perceived as a reflection of cosmic order. Christian pastors often reflected the model is Christ's relationship to his church. The man is head of the house. He makes decisions and guided his family, as well as, provides food and shelter. The wife, like the church, will encourage her children to love and honor their father. However, she is in no way her husband's equal. She may not always understand her husband's behavior but her duty is to accept his demands. A man's wife, child, slave and other movable property are his chattel.

Sex also has a special relationship for conservative Christians in traditional relationships. Before science understood the reproductive process the model was similar to agriculture; a seed was planted in a furrow. A man's seed was believed to possess a fully formed human within it. If the seed is planted correctly and God showers it blessings, the woman will be fruitful. Spilling the seed anywhere other than a furrow where God creates life was tantamount to abortion. This automatically rules out gay marriage. Consequently, sex that was not intended for procreation was seen as a great moral evil. Casual sex, non-vaginal sex and masturbation condemned participants as murderers of babies. Married men had two basic duties: to provide for their families; and to plant seeds. If a man is virtuous, God will bless him with many children. And as his house fills with blessings he will naturally lose interest in sex and stop having children. On the other hand, But if the man is evil, he would not be able to resist temptation and his house would be cursed with more children than he could afford.

As you can see this conservative view is not very popular today. Regardless, it is still the basic foundation of many views. Even today, some denominations will not perform marriage ceremonies that lack the ability to produce children. Especially, gay marriage. However, this does not mean the marriage exists to benefit the child. On the contrary, children exist to benefit their father. Going back to the model of Christ, the church and the congregation; the father represents Christ, the mother, the church and the children, the congregation. The purpose of the wife is to support her husband; who reproduction creates the congregation. Ergo, traditional marriage benefits and focuses strictly on the husband.

Clearly Christian marriage and secular marriage are radically different and represent non-compatible views. But does this mean gay and lesbian weddings are particularly of threat to conservative marriage? Yes. Gay marriage threatens traditional views in three profound ways:

1) Two equal persons can marry. This is a slap in the face to the model of the master and his chattel.

2) Families are for the benefit of raising children. This profoundly denounces the idea that the presence of children are a reflection of a biological father's virtue.

3) The role of intimacy is not exclusively about procreation. It assumes self expression, experimentation and gratification are appropriate parts of the human sexual experience.

How to work with people who support traditional marriage.

The best approach is to support their conservative views and verbally express them. If someone says they support traditional marriage, praise them for endorsing the patriarchy and the subjugation of women. Let them know that you understand the value of children when seen as property of a man and how difficult that position is for any man to give up. Tell them you admire the self control they have in minimizing sexual pleasure and choosing not to explore their sexual nature. The goal is to force them to ask themselves, “Is that really what I believe?”

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